The Values Ranking Game: A Simple Holiday Conversation About What Matters Most
The Values Ranking Game: A Simple Way to Start the Hardest (and Most Important) Conversation
Talking about end-of-life wishes can feel heavy but it doesn’t have to be.
Sometimes, all it takes to open the door is a simple question: What matters most to you?
That’s where the Values Ranking Game comes in. It’s an easy, eye-opening way to start meaningful conversations about what people value most at the end of life and it works for every age, not just older adults.
Why These Conversations Matter
When families avoid these discussions, decisions get made in the middle of a crisis often with confusion, guilt, or disagreement. Talking early and openly helps everyone understand what’s most important long before medical forms or hospital rooms enter the picture.
The goal isn’t to predict every decision. It’s to build understanding and peace of mind.
How the Game Works
Each card represents something people often say is important at the end of life, such as:
To be free from pain
To keep my sense of humor
To have my family prepared for my death
To prevent arguments by making sure my family knows what I want
To be at peace with G-d
You simply read through the cards and rank them from most to least important.
There are no right or wrong answers only honest ones.
You can do this alone to clarify your own thoughts, or as a group to learn about each other. Families, couples, even work teams have used this exercise to build empathy and connection.
Why It Works
The Values Ranking Game gives people permission to talk about what truly matters, without pressure or medical jargon.
It turns an intimidating topic into something approachable even enlightening.
It’s easy. No preparation or special knowledge needed.
It’s meaningful. Every conversation uncovers values, fears, and priorities that might never come up otherwise.
It’s for all ages. Teens, adult children, and older adults can all participate and learn from each other.
It creates connection. These conversations often lead to laughter, stories, and a deeper understanding of what gives life meaning.
A Perfect Holiday Conversation Starter
The holidays are one of the rare times when families of all generations are together which makes it a wonderful time to try the Values Ranking Game.
Between meals, football, or cookie baking, pull out the cards and ask everyone to choose what matters most to them.
You’ll be surprised by what you learn and how natural the conversation becomes when you start with values instead of medical decisions.
Next Steps: From Values to Action
Once you’ve played, take the next step by using The Conversation Project Starter Guide.
It walks you through how to share your wishes (or listen to someone else’s) in a clear, thoughtful way.
You can download the free guide here.
Use what you learned from the game as a foundation: the values, words, and priorities that rose to the top.
That’s how you move from talking about it someday to actually being conversation ready.
Ready to Begin?
You can download and print the cards here.
Start the conversation with your family, book club, or faith group or bring it to your next gathering.
A few cards and 15 minutes can open the door to one of the most meaningful talks you’ll ever have.